How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
