Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
