We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's never too late to be topless.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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