Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
