8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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