Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
