Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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