Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
