i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
