Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
