Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
