I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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