are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
