did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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