He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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