What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
