even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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