She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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