Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
