i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
