Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
