she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
