i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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