All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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