the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
