I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
