love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He better not be in your backpack
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
