Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
