Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
