He asked to "fluff my boner.."
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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