we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
