so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
