If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
