Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
