Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
