Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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