I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
