You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
