we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
