We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
