I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
