They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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