Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
