I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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