Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
