So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
