We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
