TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
