we're blogging at a bar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
