Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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