Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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